It’s not you, it’s me

So, I have a tumblr now.

 

It’s not that I don’t love this blog, it’s just that I think I might be better at something that’s in between a blog and a pinterest account.

 

We’ll see. In any case, I don’t intend on giving up on this misheld belief that someday I will be a prolific blogger, I am just trying to widen the variety of ways in which I can disappoint myself on the internet.

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26 years, 3 days, 18 hours

Happy Birthday to me!

I have been battling a horrific flu for 5 days, and thus my birthday party was not as gloriously debauched as I had hoped, but I drank too much for someone with an illness and stayed up too late and wore Hogwarts robes, so I did my best.

Laying around the last three days has given me too much time to think about what I’ve done with 26 years on the planet and what I thought I would be doing at this point when I was 16. Also to let it sink in that when my mother was my age she was already a month pregnant with me.

 

I want to travel more, like everyone says. I just don’t know how the fuck to do it on $14/hr and in as much debt as I am. I also want to make theater happen, but in this area it’s damn near impossible without a car. Also, excuses and reasons. 

 

So I’m in a profound funk. Partly being cooped up. Partly being sick. Partly being older and also younger than I have ever or will ever be. Also wishing I had some people around who wanted to mount a production of Stop Kiss from inside my apartment. I mean, you could really do it. Or produce “Little MIss Sunshine” as a stage show. Or just do “The Baltimore Waltz” in the park.

 

Or fuck, just some people to do readings with of new plays in my living room every couple of weeks. I’m tired of that happening in all those northern cities I used to inhabit and not happening here.

 

I’ve just never been much of a catalyst, really.

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In Which Our Hero is Disgruntled By The Internet (again)

So there was this horrible post that made it to the frontpage of r/wtf (naturally, I don’t even know why I still subscribe to that shit) that was of course a rape joke. And the comment thread was of course just horrific and full of rape apologists and people screaming that just because they have the right to make these jokes means no one can ever be mad at them ever for whatever they say neener neener neener. And then naturally once someone FINALLY brought up that this was rape and pretty shitty there was this torrential storm of “WULLLL YEAH BUT MEN GET RAPED TOO SO SHUT UP.”

Wait, what? So… since we’re here trying to talk about women for a few seconds we need to make sure that we know how the men feel. Because there can be no space or subject about women that is not inundated and constantly reminded of the male experience and opinion. We all really need to know what your penis is saying, lest we be able to actually hear ourselves for a second.

What I hate about this the most is that it really weakens the movement for male rape awareness. By invading female spaces and constantly decrying women as being rape inventors and liars it makes it even more difficult to make progress in ending rape for everyone. Do men get raped? Yes. Is it horrific and terrible? Yes. Is it as bad as when women get raped? Exactly as bad (no more, no less). Does it happen as often? Probably not. Does a discussion of women getting raped mean we are saying that men do not get raped? NO. NO IT DOESN’T.

 

And I don’t give a shit if it’s “just a joke.” It’s a bad joke and I don’t have to like it. It’s freedom of speech, bro, I can disagree with you if I want.

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Four More Years

It is important to realize in this post-fairly-progressive-election season that just because other people get rights you don’t agree with doesn’t mean those people have taken away any of your rights.

To my family and friends who are disappointed today:

Just because my friends in Washington can finally get married doesn’t mean you can’t. Just because they get to be in love and in healthy relationships and build families just means that there are more people like you and that family means even more.

Just because people can get stoned doesn’t mean you have to.

Just because I get to believe I am worthwhile doesn’t mean you have to believe women are, though you should. And I will keep trying to convince you.

This country was never built on Christianity and it was never built on the idea that some people are more equal than others. If you are worried about socialism and worried about losing your rights, then don’t ruin the opportunities of others to rise through capitalism  or to enjoy the same rights as you.

And don’t forget, Barack Obama is a Christian man, so you are still in the lead over any other kind of person that exists.

You didn’t lose anything, you gained another four years to prove you know how to love.

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Things that make me an Adult:

  1. Opening a bottle of wine and keeping the cork. Additionally, leaving it in the kitchen instead of taking it to the table/porch/bed.
  2. Emptying the dishwasher the day it is washed.
  3. Considering my wake up time when considering my bedtime.
  4. Having the thought, ever, that “this will wrinkle my clothes.”
  5. Yogurt as a breakfast AND dessert food.
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A Short Treatise on Pop Music

I decided that I talk shit enough about Taylor Swift and that’s unfair as I have legitimately only heard 4 of her songs, 2 of which are on the Hunger Games soundtrack.

So here I am, listening to 2008’s Fearless and doing my best to give her a really honest shot.

Here’s the thing, girl’s got pipes. She can sing, and I appreciate that she wrote these lyrics at an age when I was caught up on rhyming “love” with “above.” I give credit where credit is due. Additionally, if I were 15 or 16, or even 19 going through my first big break up, I would have eaten this ish up with a spoon double scooped in my Ben & Jerry’s. Plus she’s 5’11” and wears heals, so I have to give credit to tall ladies who are unafraid to be taller than their friends and peers.

However (I bet you saw this coming)…

There is SO MUCH GIRL HATE in this album. It’s all “She’s a slut!” “She stole my man!” “Girls are supposed to fight all the time!” This is not Swift’s fault, it’s a huge theme in our culture. To keep women constantly at odds with each other is a hugely powerful tool of patriarchy. It is not a mans fault that he leaves us, it is the woman who “stole” this being who is entirely controlled by his loins and incapable of thoughts on his own. There are plenty of boy-worship songs, but not a single lyric about a girl that isn’t indicting that girl as someone to be at odds against.

Katy Perry? Not one damn instance of girl-hate.

But I can’t say I have done a truly thorough sampling of ladies in pop. I am about to get my hands on some Rhiannon and try to see if she’s got a lot of culturally induced lady hate or not. 

These messages are hugely damaging. If we are raised to constantly see our fellow ladies as threats to the all-important trophy of being a girlfriend than we will never truly be able to join together (with the men folk as well) to destroy these completely arbitrary depictions and expectations put on us by the patriarchy and the strict gender division it calls for.

Men are not a prize, neither are women, and we can actually all get along, Taylor.

 

Girl is damn catchy, though. “Oh can’t you seeeeeeeeeeeeeee…” … fuck.

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Gut Check

I hate remembering what time of year it is and realizing that I’ve made plans around September 2nd. It’s been 5 years, so maybe it’s time to have plans that day that don’t involve staring at the ocean and over drinking. But at the same time, 5 years is a milestone. It’s when a kid gets their first bike. It’s a big round number that is supposed to mean something.

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