And now it has passed. Which leaves me with one week of pantslessness left.
I got a job, was originally seasonal but I got hired on permanently because of how excellent I am at selling records. With my first paycheck I am going pants shopping.
The year has done a lot to cement how I feel about clothing, what I like to wear, and how I feel about being feminine. I love it. But I have also learned/discovered/kind of already knew but now know for sure that being feminine has less to do with what you wear than how you behave. At the beginning of the year I acted decidedly more ladylike. Now I’ve settled in to what I believe is a happy medium between brash and gentle. Who knows how much of that came from dresses and how much from experiences, but it’s a nice way to round out the year if we call it a no-pants revelation.
Lately I have felt discouraged about feminism. Not that I don’t believe in it anymore, but that I don’t know how to get the movement going enough to fight through what I feel is this last level. But becoming aware is like learning to walk with your head up instead of on the ground. You keep going in the right direction, but you can see all the good and bad around you. And even if you try to look back down again and keep walking, knowing it’s all still there keeps it in the corner of your eye. The movement simultaneously leaves me empowered and despondent. But I can’t go back to being unaware so I continue to help people be aware.
I am proud to say I have committed to an arbitrary thing for a year. It’s nice thinking I have that in me. I have a week now to decide what next year is going to be. I like knowing that I can make that kind of commitment.
And as for pants? I honestly don’t know how often I will wear them next year. They’re awfully boring.