Discouraged, Angry, and Female

This is a recent comment thread I participated in on reddit. The original post was a man venting that he felt guilty about feeling great being a man after hanging a bunch of lights and unclogging a drain and drinking a beer. The discussion topics ranged from “Fuck yeah! Feel good!” to “Why should you feel bad? It’s only sexist if you don’t think women should feel good doing those things too.” Generally a good discussion.

However, in the referenced thread (I am rocketsaurus, btw) I found it extremely discouraging how many people a)believe that the genders are different because it’s just how we are naturally* b)believe that there isn’t a lot of gap between opportunities for men and women and c)think I am “another yapping c*nt.” People who go to the extreme of feminist/woman bashing are easy to ignore, but it’s the seemingly well thought out comments that end like this

There might actually be a patriarchy but because feminists create and spread disinformation I am disinclined to believe anything feminists say.

that worry me the most. I feel so discouraged in discussions on the internet because there is so much false information that I feel like I don’t even know what is true. Any time you come up with the “empirical evidence of sexism” that they ask for they counter it with much smaller marginal examples of these same instances occurring to men. Now you will never EVER hear me say that men are not affected by sexism. Men experience rape, domestic violence, and discrimination in parenting all of the time. But women have been experiencing these things and worse for CENTURIES.

It feels like people saying that since we want more rights they should get more too, even though they started with more. John Stewart made this statement regarding Christians, but I feel it works for men too. “God willing, maybe one of you one day will even rise up and become President of this country– or maybe forty-four in a row. But that’s my point… they feel entitled, not to equal status, but to greater status.”

I don’t know how to stand up against this. I know it’s just reddit. I know it is just an internet forum. But let’s be honest, with 10 million users it’s not a bad sample size. This attitude is everywhere. Even just casually agreeing with sexism because you don’t believe it is a problem.

How do you keep going?

*”gender” is a cultural construct. Gender refers to the outward representation of sexuality. In our culture, “gender” refers to dress, voice, looks, activities, etc while “sex” refers to what junk you’ve got. Here’s a good article about it, but a good google search does wonders as well.


About Charlotte

In an attempt to figure it all out, I've broken the world up in to tiny pieces and am conquering them one at a time.
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3 Responses to Discouraged, Angry, and Female

  1. Beautiful initial reply to soolf84. For every extremist there’s someone wading in the middle who benefits from hearing/reading well stated and researched points. At least, that’s what I tell myself.

  2. Chelsea says:

    You’d be surprised how many of your well-educated, liberal-minded, art-and-IPA loving friends casually dismiss sexism. We’ve come far, but not that far. Say “feminism” and you get disgusted looks about the ineffectiveness of Taking Back The Night, mini-rants about how femnazis create big fusses over tiny problems when there’s worse injustice happening in the world, and other well thought out phrases amounting to “it’s not that much of a problem anymore, why don’t you focus on more important things.”

    …I have to imagine that these same people aren’t the ones regularly fed lines by customers like “I love to watch a woman work” or “why don’t you smile more, you’re so pretty when you smile” …or have problems being a leader in their career because they get called a c*nt or b*tch when you do anything with the slightest amount of assertiveness …or have to face the inevitable catch-22 of group-based projects wherein you must either be obediently sweet or labeled the Nazib*tch to participate in the first place.

    So. Frustrating.

    • Robert McRobertson says:

      “…there’s worse injustice happening in the world, and other well thought out phrases amounting to “it’s not that much of a problem anymore, why don’t you focus on more important things.”

      There are and you should. Just sayin’

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