I suffer from near crippling social jealousy. It is beginning to seriously affect the rest of my life. I can’t seem to keep myself happy when I know other people are having what could be conceived as more fun. And subsequently I have a horrible time trying to be happy for others who get to experience things I wish I was doing.
This ranges from sudden distaste for my whole life based on other peoples better framed facebook pictures to now, which is where I threw a literal tantrum after saying goodbye to Boyfriend who is going to Sasquatch without me. I am going on a trip myself starting Friday morning, but I am overwhelmed by a feeling of being horribly left out. Tonight I am home alone, have to wake up early, and now no longer have the option of Boyfriend time. And all anyone will talk about is fucking Sasquatch.
And this is the spiral I get caught in. I can’t seem to muster excitement for my own, measurably awesome, weekend plans.
Does anyone else feel this way? How the hell do I end this spiral? Going out is not an option, no one I know has a car so I have an hour wait at least to see someone and I have to work early anyways. What do I do? I can’t keep doing this every time I get left out. It’s starting to affect my sleeping habits, eating habits, drinking habits… it’s getting out of control.
Maybe I’ve grown out of loving being alone. Fuck.