because the personal is political, right?
recently i made a very difficult decision regarding my loving, caring, and in most every way satisfactory relationship. i decided that my own fulfillment as a person was more important than continuing in a relationship that could have eventually ended in life long (perhaps mediocre) companionship. the relationship had nothing specifically wrong with it whatsoever, but my desire to be (for once) out of a couple, out of a committed relationship felt more important.
one of my dear friends is/was going through a similar situation. as she put it, we both need to learn how to get more arrows pointing in than there are arrows pointing out.
making a decision to leave a relationship is not one that is put out much in the media. television, movies (fuck you sex and the city the movie) and music are surrounding me now and insisting that the ultimate goal of life is to be in love and that if you have love you hold on to it like an alligator no matter what. but i am so happy and so thankful that i live in a part of the world and in a time in history where i can make the decision to leave a relationship for myself. to be with myself. and that decision has been met with nearly across the board approval and support. despite the cultural standard of a woman’s ultimate goal being a relationship, my friends and family are wildly in agreement that a girl ought not to be in a string of long term relationships for nearly 10 years. not when that girl is so young and has so much to figure out. even the wonderful guy i had to leave behind understands and agrees. there are parts of this country right now where no one would agree with this choice.
i don’t believe that being single will teach me anything about myself that i don’t already know. but i do believe that it will create a series of memories and experiences that i would never have had coming in a pair. and i think that taking the part of my brain that has been focusing on attracting, pursuing, and maintaining a relationship will find a lot of other interesting things to think about.